Hidden Emotions
by MordoLuvr23
Summary: He was going through a lot of problems. Hiding himself from the outside world was a hard task. He wants to talk to somebody about it but his pride gets in the way. He is slowly being eaten alive on the inside and is losing strength. That is until he gets a special visitor that is glad to help.
1. The Start

**Hey I'm back. School is pretty busy with it being the last week. I've also been sick and have been focusing on **_Teen Titans _**and **_Batman _**more. I absolutely love Robin, especially the original Robin/ Nightwing known as Dick Grayson. This is just my opinion but I think Teen Titans is way better that the Regular Show. I mean the old series, not the stupid new one called ****_Teen Titans Go_****. They don't even look like teens in that series. That's just my opinion. I'm writing my sequel to ****_Bother You_**** and it is going to be really awesome. All the dedicated fans will have to wait though because I have a few other things to post before. Hope you enjoy chapter one. ****_~MordoLuvr23~_**

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Chapter 1: The Start

**Let's say that I face many problems and leave it at**** that**

_-Mordecai_

* * *

A dark, tall, and lanky figure in a long black coat walked down an empty alleyway with two buffer men dressed in suits standing on either side of him.

"I'm telling you, you have to find some way to take your mind off of everything" the buff figure on the left.

"Yeah, you're only fifteen and you already are in a major depression" said the one on right.

"I can't, I'm too stressed and tired. My evil cousins are temporarily living with my family and I have to hide from them, plus it already took a lot of effort to get out of bed" the tall one said.

"Why do you need to hide from them?" the one on the left asked as they kept walking.

"I don't want to look like a girl and so far they don't even know I exist" he replied.

"Well, if you keep thinking about suicide then you'll go mad" lefty said.

"I agree with Kai, you need to do something besides what you have been" the right one added.

"I wish I could Hercules but I can't do anything, I can't sleep, I can't smile, I can't even eat without being fed" he replied.

"Just do what you always have Mordecai, don't give up" Kai said.

"But I have already, I've done everything to be happy but it only stabs me in the back" Mordecai said sadly.

"Listen, you know what, we'll surprise you with one of the best things ever that will not only take your mind off of suicide but will give you the opportunity to connect with others like yourself" Kai said smiling.

"You can try it, maybe it will work" Mordecai said as the walked out of the alleyway and head in the direction of his house.

"Alright then, we'll get you out in the world again instead of being cooped up in your room crying into your pillow until you get dehydrated" Hercules said confidently.

They finally reached the huge mansion that his and Rigby's family spend their combined band money on and live in.

Mordecai sunk deep down in his black coat as the hood completely hid his face from anyone who saw him.

He walked inside followed by his two body guards.

On the way to his room his identity remained hidden but he was gathering suspicion amongst his cousins, aunt, and uncle.

His parents weren't home yet so it was only him, his cousins, aunt and uncle, and sisters.

He was about halfway to his room when his cousins Taylor, Annie, and Jake stood in front of him and asked in unison, "Who are you and what are you doing here?"

Mordecai shook his head and walked around them followed by Kai and Hercules.

They followed him until he went into a room that said: **Do NOT Enter. Private room.**

He thought nothing of his cousins and how they were getting more and more suspicious.

The cousins shared suspicious looks with each other as the two guards left the room and walked away.

* * *

He took off his coat and let his feathers breathe freely.

Something inside of him wouldn't let him wear clothes for extended periods of time.

(Listen to _The Funeral _by Band of Horses for a more dramatic effect)

He crawled into his bed and pulled the covers up to his chest.

He was so sad and confused at that moment in time.

_Is it how I look, how I act, how I speak, how I am inside, or all three? _He thought.

Drawing his hand up beside his eye he sighed.

"Damn, not again. When will it end?" the fifteen year-old groaned taking a pill out of the bottle on his nightstand.

The teenager choked down his sobs and tried to hold back his tears.

The bird wanted to cry for help and announce that he's slowly dying inside but he couldn't.

It would hurt his reputation and make things worse then they were currently.

The pills didn't help and he hadn't slept in weeks.

At random times he would get dizzy and collapse unintentionally.

Suicide was one of the things he thought about but never did.

The only things holding him back were his parents, sisters, and friends.

He wrote in a journal and did things on his laptop that no-one would ever get to look at.

Crying himself to sleep became normal for him.

To him the wails were beautiful music and tears were the one way he knew he was still alive.

It was the beginning of the summer so he didn't have school for another four months.

He rarely went outside and but his friends came and visited once in a while when he would unlock his door.

A knock sounded at his door before a tall blue jay stepped in and closed the door.

Mordecai gasped and went wide eyed, backing up against his wooden bed frame.

**Ooh! Who's the tall blue jay in his room? Wait to find out. If you (meaning the readers) are going to post a comment of Mordecai being OOC than I would think before posting because they never say what he's like at fifteen. Also, if you are into Yu-Gi-Oh stories and want to read some amazing ones check out futureauthor13. She is a former Regular Show writer for the few who haven't heard of her. Very few… Anyway, chapter two will be up soon (hopefully). MordoLuvr23 out.**


	2. Visitor 1

**Here's chapter 2. You'll find out who the blue jay is. It will surprise you. I don't know why I chose this figure but I did. Hope you enjoy and R&R. ****_~MordoLuvr23_**

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Chapter 2: Visitor #1

**I was planning on not seeing anyone, guess I have to reschedule**

_-Mordecai_

Mordecai's POV:

I don't know how long I was in bed but I must have dosed off because when I looked out of my window it was dark out and there were stars in the sky.

She took me completely by surprise and my heart was thumping fast.

I calmed down only to realize it was eleven o'clock at night.

I looked in a mirror and noticed dark bags under my bloodshot eyes.

Also, I was a shade paler and couldn't stop shivering.

I'm wearing my green pajamas that my mom probably put on me without me noticing.

_Why is she here this late? Did something happen? Did someone die? Was this the last time she would see me?_

"Oh good, you're up" she said wondering over to the edge of my bed where she could see my face.

"Mmm, hey" I mumbled with a grunt as I tried to sit up, and failed.

"You look twenty years older with those bags" she said giggling and running her fingers through my feathers.

"And you haven't aged a day" I said with an attempted laugh that sounded more like a sad chuckle.

She giggled again.

"Maybe if we find a way to switch then we'd look right" I said with another sad chuckle.

"Then we wouldn't be unique, would we Mordecai. Mordecai… I love that name" she said.

"I can say the same to you" I said smiling ever so slightly.

"Nah, there's nothing special about the name Hailey" she said "but Mordecai, you look like a Mordecai."

"I like your name though, it's pretty" I said.

"You're like your grandpa, you know that" Hailey said.

"Where is he grandma?" I asked.

"Sleeping, sweet one" she said kissing my cheek then rubbing it with her finger.

"Mmm, how do you do it?" I asked closing my eyes and laying my head on her shoulder.

"Do what sweet child?" grandma asked me.

"Know how to make me feel good" I said scooting close to her.

"I used to do it to your daddy, you're exactly like him" grandma replied wrapping her arm around me.

"Mmm, why are you here so late?" I asked.

"I heard about you and you know the family contract for our and the Salyers' family where if anyone in the family is having financial troubles they can go to another family member?" Hailey questioned.

"Yeah, what about it?" I asked.

"Well, you know how Jed's family is staying here because of financial problems and soon Steve will be staying here?" she asked me.

I nodded.

"Well, neither of them are on good terms with Jed and Diane wanted me here for Malachi's sake" grandma told me.

"Oh" I understood.

"Yeah, so what happened to you?" she asked me.

I sighed and fell back onto my bed.

"I honestly don't know what's causing it, wait that's a lie, I don't know what's not causing it" I told blinking back tears.

I didn't want to cry with her watching me, it'd be embarrassing.

"Well tomorrow we're going to have fun and you are going to be better" grandma said kissing my forehead.

I smiled and said "I can't wait."

She smiled back and told me to go back to sleep, maybe there's hope for me after all.

She opened my door and shut it quietly behind her.

I wonder what my guards are up to; they said they're going to surprise me.

I can't help but shed a few tears when thinking about how much people actually care about me.

The one question I always ask myself is 'why?'

Why would anyone ever love a freak like me?

I just doesn't make any sense and I think I'll ask someone.

I am a freak; I don't even act like a normal teenager in this town does.

I guess I'm used to listening to my parents when they talk to me.

It's not that I don't have friends I mean I am part of a group of seven with the other six doing everything with me.

I don't understand what's wrong with me.

I'm sure everything will become clear… someday…

* * *

Diane's POV:

I saw Hailey come out of his room smiling deeply and figured something good happened while she was in there.

"What happened?" I asked her.

"He says he can't wait for tomorrow" she told me.

I smiled deeply as a new hope was born.

"There might be hope" I said cheering.

She giggled and yawned biding me a good night then walking off.

I gently opened the door and went over to his bed, sitting on the edge.

"Mordecai" I whispered while gently shaking him.

I figured I wouldn't have to shake him really hard since he's barely been alone.

He opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Hey, do you want me to stay with you tonight?" I asked softly as not to startle his half-asleep form.

He nodded his head so I gently picked him up and moved him over a little bit.

Once I got under the covers he scooted close to me and shut his tired eyes.

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer so I was holding him gently.

Maybe there is a chance and everything would be okay.

All I want is for him to be happy; it would even be okay if it could be reduced so he only had depression attacks every year or two.

At least then he could be happy for half of the time.

I eventually fell into a deep sleep like his.

* * *

**There's chapter two. Depressing... chapter… two… Anyways, I like the idea that the characters have their player's first name as a middle name but I think Xavier is a better middle name for Mordecai because it's exotic like his first name. Also I think Professor X. sounds cooler than Professor J. If you (meaning the reader) want to replace Xavier with James you can do that. It's just my opinion and it's too late for me to change it without changing my stories so I'm sticking with it. The rest of the characters will have their player's first name as their middle name. Remember to review and if you like it read my other stories. If you don't like it then still read my other stories. Never forget that doughnuts are awesome (unless you're allergic) and MordoLuvr23 out.**


	3. Relaxation

**Chapter three! Finally… I know I haven't updated in like years… no… eons but I've just been so busy with work and get this; my school gives us some homework during the summer to prepare us for the next year… dumb. Anyways, here's chapter three… enjoys!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Regular Show. If I did, Thomas wouldn't be there... DIE THOMAS! MORDECAI RULES! *regains composure* All OC's in this story are mine. (If you get what I did there put it in a review, all you Pharoh fans rule.)**

Chapter 3: Relaxation

**Please… anyone… help me, I'm falling**

_-Mordecai_

Mordecai's POV: 

I felt a finger brushing over my cheeks when I came to.

I slowly opened my eyes and saw my mom and my grandma on either sides of me, brushing tears off my cheeks as the melted down.

As if by reflex, I shot up and pulled both of them into a tight hug, smiling.

Not just the fake smiles I always give but a genuine smile.

The kind of smile I haven't gave in a long time, to anyone… at all.

Honestly, there is no other way I wanted to wake up this morning.

It made me feel special, them waiting for me, wiping away my tears gently as I slept soundly for the first time in weeks.

I felt relaxed, like I could let my guard down and be 100% safe.

I let go and sighed contently as I leant against my bed frame, the smile not disappearing.

Diane's POV:

Now that's what I like to see, that smile on his beak and the happy look standing out in front of all the other emotions in his big blue eyes.

He hugged his knees to his chest and kept smiling at us, looking like he might actually have fun today.

I smiled and kissed his cheek gently before leaving the room.

Hailey's POV:

His smile makes me smile, today is the big day, and I just know something good will come out of this.

He leaned in and hugged me tightly before saying "I'm going to go take a shower" and walking off toward his bathroom.

I sat there smiling as I watched him close the door.

Mordecai's POV:

I hoped in the shower and turned the water up a little.

At first it burned but felt better after a couple minutes.

I grabbed the vanilla bird wash off a small shelf in the corner and dumped it all over me rubbing the slimy substance into my feathers thinking long and hard.

Why am I the way I am? Shy, awkward, dumb, repulsive, hot-headed, naïve, freakish why? Why? WHY!?

My eye twitched as I put a hand on the wall to stabilize myself.

The other tightly clutched my chest and I gritted my teeth.

A sharp pain coursed through my chest as I thought about it.

Depression is tearing m apart slowly and painfully as I'm left to suffocate in never ending sadness.

I sighed and finished washing myself, hopping out and blow-drying my feathers, buffering the small cracks and chips in my beak.

I threw on my black leather pants, black socks, black button-down shirt, black leather belt, black hooded cape, and black leather boots.

Will anyone ever understand me completely except for Mom, Dad, Grandma, Rigby, Reba, and Shell?

Mostly it's only my family understanding.

Some things just aren't meant to be learned I guess.

I walked out of my room, slightly happier that I'm getting out today.

My mom had made bacon, pancakes, and fruit for breakfast.

I ate with my family then Grandma and I left.

We got in her red Corvette then drove off.

"Where are we going Grandma?" I asked.

"Somewhere very special" she said then winked at me.

I smiled widely, man it felt good to smile, it felt like for a moment I wasn't being consumed by my own darkness, and I loved that feeling.

She brought me to a large building with _Quintel_ etched across the top.

I automatically recognized the building and smiled widely at her, very excited.

"Remember this place?" she questioned with a smile.

"How could I not, it's the clubhouse" I said still smiling.

"Let's go inside" she told me after giving me a hug to which I happily returned.

We walked inside and flicked on the lights.

The building was huge complete with: a 20x25 flatscreen TV, all the videogame consoles with the latest video games, a smoothie bar, a huge jungle gym- like playground, a DVD player, a VCR, a ton of movies, a gumball machine, a popcorn maker, a huge bathroom, a water-park, soft carpet, different rooms with beds and individual TV's and restrooms for lounging and overnight stays. A large dining room, a dance floor with a disco ball, a roller-skating rink, bumper cars, a go-cart track, a basketball court, a tennis court, a volleyball court, two large pools, two large hot tubs, a wading pool, an ice-skating rink, a broom-ball/ice hockey rink, a snack bar, a recording studio, and instrument room, an art gallery, an ice-cream station, and a huge water-park.

We spent the whole day having fun and messing around.

It felt good to have fun, to smile, to laugh, to let my guard down, to feel free and not worry about anything.

"Did you have fun?" Grandma asked me.

"Did I have fun? It was the best day I've had in years!" I replied with a laugh.

She laughed along with me and smiled at me, hugging me tightly.

"Thanks, no-one has ever done this for me" I said.

"You're welcome" she replied.

We traveled home and when we got there it was pretty late so we ran inside, I hugged my mom and kissed her cheek, and ran to my room to get ready to go to bed.

I shut my door and stripped myself of the clothes I was wearing, throwing everything except for my boots, belt, and cape in my clothes-bin and crawling into bed.

I heard a knock at my door and shouted "come in!"

Hailey walked in the door and over to my bed.

"Hi" I said yawning.

"Goodnight honey" she said kissing my forehead and bringing my body into a warm hug.

"Mmm, goodnight Grandma" I replied hugging her back.

She laid me down gently and left the room only for my mom to come in.

"Hey honey" she said running her fingers through my feathers.

"Mmm, hey mom" I said sleepily.

"How are you feeling?" she asked me.

"Amazing, tired, happy" I said smiling.

"That's great baby!" she exclaimed laughing and pulling me into a hug.

"Mhm" I mumbled in response.

She laid me down and tucked in the covers, kissing me on the cheek and stroking my head feathers lovingly.

"Goodnight" she said as I rested my hand on top of hers.

"Goodnight" I said squeezing her hand gently then letting go.

She smiled and left the room.

I closed my eyes and drifted off into a dreamful sleep.

**Me: There's chapter 3, finally. I was working very hard.**

**Bro: No you weren't.**

**Me: What do you mean by that? *growls***

**Bro: You know what I mean. Instead of writing this story you were drooling over Seto Kaiba.**

**Me: Not true. *blushes***

**Mordecai: You cheater! You're worse than Margaret!**

**Margaret: Hey! Like I was you're first girlfriend! *snarls***

**Mordecai: At least I don't have more than I have birthdays.**

**Margaret: Shut up before I-**

**Rigby: I sense some jealousy**

**Seto Kaiba: Both of them are jealous.**

**Mokuba: Ride on big brother!**

**Me: Am I dreaming or are Kaiba and Mokuba standing in front of me. Pinch me if I'm dreaming.**

**Rigby: *pinches me* Nope its reality.**

**Me: *glares at Rigby then grabs him and kisses him***

**Eileen: *runs away crying***

**Me: You're too cute to be mad at.**

**Rigby: *blushes while Mordecai glares***

**Me: Sorry about that but the true hotties are: Kaiba, Mokuba, the Pharoh, and the Dark Magician (mostly the Dark Magician)**

**Bro: See what I mean?**

**Me: *giggles* MordoLuvr23 out…**


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